Jean Shorts..& You can too!

Jean. Shorts. Two words that have always sent me into a fearful panic,along with: clown parade, and Nicholas Cage. However, since this summer has been so unbelievably hot and muggy, and since I believed I had worked out enough that day to feel OK about trying jean shorts on...I braved the heat, and the Livingston Mall (ew), and went to The Gap.

Where else do you people buy jean shorts? When I think of jean shorts, khaki's, and neon colored scarves I think of The Gap. So I went in, and behold! A SALE! A 50% off sale! Heavens gates were opening up, and they were opening up for ME. There was officially no reason NOT to buy at least 1 pair of shorts while I was there. I tried on the first pair that I saw, grabbed whatever size I thought I was, and put them on OVER my yoga pants. (Yes, friends, I am THAT self conscious...especially in very brightly lit dressing rooms).

They fit! Oh sweet Jesus, they fit! And they were a bit loose, even over the yoga pants, so I figured they were the perfect pair to buy. I was feeling so good about myself that I even went over to the tank tops and bought a white tank. WHO AM I?! Total was $16, for SHORTS and a TANK! Oh, THE GAP!
(This blog is in no way affiliated with The Gap...they wanted me to say that.)

Anyway, why am I afraid to wear jean shorts, you ask? Well... I do not have thin legs, they are thick, body building, Hungarian circus joining type of legs. Are they proportionate with my body? I like to think so, but no matter how much weight I lose my legs don't really seem to GET the picture. So the thought of putting on such an unforgiving material- like jeans- at such a short length made me feel terrified. However, so far, so good, I seem to have some success in these- success meaning no one is chasing me back into my home with torches yelling "monster!". So, so far, so good.

Is there a moral to this story? Fuckin' duh there is. The moral is this: sometimes you've just got to suck it up, try some shorts on over your yoga pants, and call it a day. Be proud of those twig legs, those thin legs, those body builder legs, those thundering legs, those brown legs, those pale legs, and all of those legs in between. Except for maybe those sunburned legs? Probably should hide those suckers.