I love you.

I need to change the tone of this blog for a hot sec. I need to throw away the calorie counting, the calorie journals, the scale, the gym, my running shoes, and all of my ideals for what I would like my body to look like.

I just want to talk to you. I want you to know that, no matter what your size, you are beautiful, and I love you. I love you because you are strong, because you are smart, and because you are special. You are all unique, and different, and wonderful. No diet, no specific way of eating, or running, or living, will work for all of us. These are very individual things that we need to find out for ourselves. Something I am trying to teach myself, actually. When I talk about Radical Self Love, I'm not telling you to turn around and love yourself immediately. I am telling you to learn how to love yourself again, and to learn that whatever way you are--is the way you should be.

The days your jeans don't fit, the days your self esteem is crap, the days you just want to curl up in a ball because "you can't do it". Those days happen, those days are relevant in most of our lives. Embrace those days, learn from them, but do not kill your spirit. Do not think that because you had a slice of cake that you are worth less than you were before. Do not think that because society told you to be a certain way, a certain size, that you have to be that way--bitch, you don't gotta change a thing- haven't you heard?

In my personal journey I do want to lose weight, but I do want to stress that losing weight won't make me a better person, a happier person, a more trustworthy or loveable person-it will not change a thing but the number on the scale.

I'm going to promise myself to learn to obsess less-even if that means taking a break from blogging, or from the gym. Weight loss/ Weight gain/ Weight in general- does not dictate who we are.

It ain't the size of your ass that counts, it's the size of your soul.

& baby, you got lots of soul.

I love you,
Mama

Radical Self Love...Pays Off

This week I demonstrated a lot of Radical Self Love, by letting myself have a few extra sweets, taking a break from the gym, and just doing my "thing". And...um...I lost 3 pounds. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! PEOPLE! LOVE YOURSELVES! YOU will get the results you want! Of course I'm back on the horse again today, starting a new cleanse (it is not fasting or a diet. It's food combination) I will provide you with more details later today. But I just HAD to do a update post, I'm so impressed with the power of LOVE!!

Like a bird on the wire.

I've tried in my own way, to be free.


WARNING this is a pretty depressing blog, not like my usual self-loving posts. But I think this will have a happy ending, we shall see:

So, friends, I have to admit that despite my verbal swagger, and my seemingly bubbly tone I am a fucking hot mess as of late. I cry all the time, I fall asleep while I'm trying to finish homework, I yell, I scream, I basically have temper tantrums. It's honestly, pathetic. But something that my mama and something that I guess, I've even taught myself is- we all have days like this, and we all even have months, years, or weeks like this. But, we have to find a way to seek the help that we need.

I started seeing a psychologist for free at William Paterson. It's a pretty sweet deal, what's better than free mental health? Nothing! But, again, NOTHING comes for free. I cry way more than I want to, and sometimes reveal things about myself that I don't like, or would like to forget. But, how can we have physical health, and financial wealth, without having mental health? We truly can't. I can't be of mind, body, and soul--without a stable mind.

A few things that are proven to help increase your mood: Yoga, chocolate, wine, running, friends, family, reading, napping, psychology, psychedelic drugs (though I don't recommend that), tea, jumping rope, swimming, & exercise of any kind.

I have to increase my endorphins, I know that that might be a huge reason I've been so down--I haven't been hitting up the gym as I normally do.

The point of this post is for me to vent, but to also let you know that-

all those times you've been sad, I've been sad too.

All those times you've been lonely, I've been lonely too.

I love you all, let us all start learning how to love ourselves again.

Let us begin the week of RADICAL SELF LOVE. I'll see you there.

Update blog, a bit early.

Not to prematurely shoot my load, but, I weighed myself this morning and I'm feelin pretty good about it, especially since I've been eating WAY over my limits this past week. -2.5 pounds.

It ain't trickin if yah got it.

The sun drips down like honey.

Honey! Lets talk about the health benefits of honey & my new obsession with: eating it, calling people it, using it on my face, etc... Let me break it down to ya:

There are 3 key benefits that honey can provide you. The first one being: Honey is natures 'energy booster' what this means is honey has a natural way of boosting your metabolism, which then increases your energy. Honey is full of (good) carbohydrates and fruit sugar, which, in moderation, is wonderful for you! Take a spoonful of honey before your workout (like I do) and it will help you boost your workout maybe an extra few steps or even an extra mile.

The second, and most impressive, health benefit is it's "immunity system builder" properties. Honey’s antioxidant and anti-bacterial properties can help improve your digestive system and help you stay healthy enough to fight off disease. It was even written in many articles that Honey, though it can't cure cancer, can be used as a preventative. Honey possesses carcinogen-preventing and anti-tumour properties. Those smart bees.

The third, and probably most useful to my readers, is that honey can be used as a....HANGOVER REMEDY! See, Mama always takes care of you. When you have a headache or another ailment from drinking too much the night before, combat that shit with HONEY! Honey is gentle enough on the stomach and it contains a mix of natural sugars (fructose) which is known to speed up the oxidation of alcohol by the liver, acting as a 'sobering' agent. *Fun fact about bee's: Bee's are drawn to the smell of alcohol and actually get drunk if they have a taste. Outside of the bee hive there are "bouncer bee's" which do exactly that, when they see that some bee's are coming back to the hive drunk, they kick them out and sometimes kill them. Oh, bee's!!
(Let's see who brings in more honey, BZZ)

And a recipe for perfect skin that my mother taught me is:
2 TBSP Honey
1 Mashed Banana
2 TSP salt
Combine in a bowl and rub on your face. The salt acts as an exfoliant, where the honey and the banana act as cooling/masking agents. Leave on for 5 minutes. Then proceed to wash, or lick, off of your face. (JK don't lick it). You'll feel silky smooth. NOT for people with acne! (For people with acne switch out the banana for TOMATO, the acid in tomato's is amazing for troubled skin).

I love honey, this week I'm going to try to use it as much as I can, but again, all in moderation. Honey is high in calories, but if used responsibly it is totally, 100% fine. Put it in your tea, use it instead of sugar while baking, put it in your greek yogurt, or just take a spoonful. Enjoy the benefits that this delicious treat has to offer you.

Update photo's. As promised.

"I love my bitches, I love my bitches, All my bitches we all ambitious."
-Trina

Obviously no drastic changes, also thats me showing off my "muscles" and "toughness" after a really intense work out.

On my way to grandma's for dinner, and even though it's raining, I'm running there instead of driving. Then yoga from 8-9 tonight.

MAMA

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Hi! It's been, 2 months, since I've updated. I have FAILED you all, and I am sorry. But this is still going to have to be short, since I am finishing up a paper & 2 other assignments, hence the reason I'm blogging at 5:00AM. I'm also talking to Tori. Duh.

My camera isn't working right now but I will be posting an update photo tomorrow, no worries! I just wanted to blog & get it out there that I am STILL on this journey with you, babies.

So, over the past 2 months my weight did not go up, but it hardly went down at first, but, 2 months later I do stand before you (or before my computer screen) at -4 pounds. It's not much, but I ain't hating it!

Running, yoga-ing, and walking. Not as much as I should be, but the beginning of a new job/ new semester is very tough. Especially when you try to include 90 minutes of exercise A DAY. DAMN!

Recipes & life updates to come this week! Is saying "stay tuned" too tacky?

Aw, fuck it.

STAY TUNED!

-mama

Take care of your body: it's the only place you have to live.

As most of you know I have an insane obsession with Buddha. Mainly with collecting small figurines or large Buddha heads, but I also enjoy the teachings of Buddha. One of the things that Buddhism teaches is to respect and control your body, mind, soul. Which, of course, is one of my goals in life: to master the love of my mind, body, and soul (mostly body, since I do already love my soul). "Tame and train your own mind", is what I want to focus on today. I want to incorporate that saying with my daily routine of working out and eating.

As far as eating goes: we are a nation of eating on the go, or "on the run". Everything we do is rushed, and it contributes to the fact that America is so obese. When you are eating a burrito the size of your head while driving you are not focusing on what is going into your body, not focusing on whether or not you're full. One of my teachers at Alfred University, who was a Buddhist, said the best way to eat your meal is at a table, alone, with a few friends, family members, what have you, and focus on what you are doing. Cut your food slowly, chew it slowly, and when holding your cup to drink, hold it with two hands. It lets your body focus and engulf itself at the task its given.

Working out, is a part of my daily life. All day every day is a work out for me. I make it that way. When I walk up the steps I do it with vigor and purpose, when I go out to my car, I jog to it. When I go to the market, I park far away even though I don't have to. Just to make my body function more. I suggest everyone try the same, that way, if at the end of the day you're too tired to go for a run, or too tired to go for a walk, you will have already probably burnt 800 calories just living your daily life more actively.

The best workout for body and soul, as we all know, is yoga. Yoga is one of the loves of my life. It's saved me from so much anger, so many arguments, etc... Yoga not only teaches you poses, or breath control, it also teaches your self control. When I feel myself getting worked up or stressed out (ask my family I know it annoys them) I say "NAMASTE" really loud and sort of fan myself with my hands, rapidly. Thats not a yoga practice, thats just a crazy Katie practice. But then I find a quiet place to just sit, take a deep calming breath, and relax.

There are a lot of great Yoga places in town, the YMCA offers classes, Exhale, Power Flow and there are other places in the area: Montclair, MIllburn, South Orange. But if money is an issue, and girlfriend don't I know how much of an issue it can be, you can download free yoga videos online, youtube has them as well as this site.

As much as my goal here is to lose weight, and love myself, it is also to be happy with where I am now. And yoga, as well as other calming practices help me feel that way. I know they can help you, too. You are strong, lovable, and capable.

Today I didn't work out, but I did some simple yoga poses and relaxed. I ate well, and I ate slowly. I'm going for a nice long walk with Tori tonight, and then going to Montclair with Andrew to do some more walking/coffee drinking.

This life is yours for the taking! Send your light out into the world, sun babies. Mama loves you. Loves you. Loves YOU.

Update Blog, featuring: my boobs!

I GAINED 1 pound this month friends, Sorry to have failed you, yet again. But don't worry... I ain't afraid of a challenge!!!

Gym in the morning, morning walks with Tori, kickboxing classes start next week, yoga on sundays. Don't worry babiez, mama's got this. Enjoy da boobs.

Also: did I mention...baby got back! I think I gained that pound in my bum...I (and the boyfriend) ain't hatin that.

Mama loves you.

A serious talk & a serious recipe.

The first topic I want to discuss is of a very serious nature. As you know this blog is here to help inspire you, help you find delicious/healthy recipes, safe work out routines, and, most importantly: to make you feel like you have a companion.

I was recently e-mailing back and forth with a reader and she (remaining anonymous of course) revealed to me her past/present struggles with an eating disorder. She is plagued with Bulimia (the act of gorging on food and then purging-vomit or with the use of laxatives), I've also had friends who suffered from Anorexia (the act of starving oneself) and also Excessive working out (burning over 3,000 calories a day, spending all day at the gym, etc..) Whether you've had an eating disorder in the past, or are struggling with one now, please know that there are plenty of places to go for help. Please do not hesitate to contact a professional, or contact me, and hand in hand we will seek the help you need.

We need to amp up the self love, and amp it up I will. I want all you beautiful ladies (and men this applies to you to) to write down 5 things you absolutely love about yourself, and please don't tell me there's "nothing to love" because, baby, I'm sure if you asked anyone you know they could knock out 100 things they love about you, probably even 1000! I'm going to do this with you because we all need a little reminder of our first love: ourselves. Because at night, you have yourself, in the morning, and all throughout your day-you have yourself. Please, please, learn to love. I am doing this with you, I will always stand by you. You just have to wake up every morning and say "I'm ______ and I better work, bitch!" And bitch, you better.

5 Things I Love About Myself:

My verbal swagger (thanks H)
My endurance
My mouth
My morals-though they may be loose, they're good
The fact that I may not be the skinniest bitch you know, but fuck, I'm the finest.

It's as simple as that, and if you are REALLY struggling with it, sit down with a best friend, a parent, a grandparent, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a sibling, anyone who knows you... and have them help you. You can do this, I know you can, and for your heart and mental health, please do this. You can save yourself by just realizing 5 things that you love. Because I love you, just the way you are.


On a lighter note (both emotionally and calorically) I made Penne Alla Vodka a couple weeks ago for Andrew and besides almost burning his house down (I've never cooked with vodka before-shit's scary), it was a delicious meal!

First:
1 pound of whole wheat pasta
1.5 cups of half and half
1.5 cups tomato sauce
1/2 cup vodka (it can be cheap-who cares)
2 cloves of garlic (chopped)
1 tbs red pepper flakes
1/4 cup shredded parmesan
1 tbs olive oil

Bring the water to a boil. While you wait, in a large skillet (must have a cover) put heat on low. Add your olive oil/garlic to the pan, then add vodka and cover until vodka has halved in size. Slowly add the tomato sauce and the half and half, stirring slowly constantly. Then add your red pepper flakes. When pasta is done, drain and add right into the skillet where your delicious sauce awaits. When you plate it add your parmesan on top. Eat with red wine.

Serving size (this serves about 5 people)
is approx. 300 calories, as opposed to the regular penne vodka with proscuitto and heavy cream, which comes to a whopping 650 calories a serving.

Eat, Drink, Make love, Be merry.

Update Blog.

Hello Readers! As I stated in my last post, my update blog is a bit late this time around, but I promise not to let that happen again. Here I stand before you (only) 3 pounds lighter. Your girl is trying but being 21 has added some extra calories into my life. But don't you worry, I'm back on the horse. There's a new moon beginning tonight, and bitch, you better believe, I'm ready.

I know I have a long way to go, but this is a journey I promised myself I'd finish. And on this journey I've come to love the people around me, love the meals I've made, love my workouts, and most importantly: love myself.

Love yourself today, moon babies, the time is yours.

It's been a long time since I rock 'n' rolled.

Hello! I feel like I haven't blogged in a long time, and it's been 3 weeks, and I missed my update blog, I am sorry for all of these things. However, I can not take an update blog today, it would be a bad representation of myself. I am currently bloated from sangria, diet snapple, and coffee. This particular post is about: Gaga, how to eat healthfully when you're eating out, and my new workout routine. Allow me to explain:

I woke up yesterday and my first thoughts were, "Gaga tonight!" I was so excited that when I got to the gym, I told the person working out next to me that I was going to see Gaga. She just smiled and knodded. Whatever. The day was finally here to see my beloved at Madison Square Garden with my great friend and always fun food partner: Lindsay Girden. We attempted to catch the 2:46pm train from South Orange, it was 30 minutes (aka 35 minutes) late picking us up. And boy, were we a sweatin'! Yesterday was a scorcher, am I right? So we get on the train, it was so much cooler and we were finally relaxed. And then, as though the anti-Gaga gods were smiting us the train shut down. No lights, no air, no train sounds. Nothing but an angry old man next to us saying to his quiet wife: "this is ridiculous! We'll never make it to New York!" We did not make it to New York on that particular train, we had to transfer at Seacaucus (6 minutes from Penn Station) but we finally arrived.

Ah, New York. Your stench never ceases to completely disgust me. But I love ya, you know I do. We hopped a cab to Lindsay's (adorable/great) apartment on Avenue A. We arrived, sweaty, tired, and a bit stressed. It was already 5 o'clock, and we still had to eat, drink, get drunk, and go see our girl. So we quickly got dressed, glittered our eyes, purpled our hair, and found a place to eat. Poco is a really cute tapas bar/lounge. We made the decision to do 2 tapas and unlimited Sangria for 30 bucks. For NYC, and for what the meal turned out to be, that was a really ridiculous and awesome price. We sat at the bar and had our first glass of red Sangria, it was a bit watery but it was cool and refreshing. Brad (or Bret) our bartender and (new) friend, told us we could go sit downstairs in the air conditioning when it was all set up. We were totally game for that. We walked downstairs after 2 glasses of Sangria, I stumbled more than I walked, and we arrived in a dark room, with couches, funky chairs, little candles, and awesome cold air conditioning. We ordered: Mushroom truffled croquettes, Gambas al ajillo (spiced shrimp on a garlic toast with sun dried tomato's), tuna ceviche, and the most sinful thing: lobster mac & cheese.

Now, Tapa's, if you're like me and you're watching your weight/what you eat, is a great thing to go for. You get served appetizer/snack sized foods for relatively cheap (depending) and it's not something that will bloat your or make you kick yourself for. Lindsay and I split everything, that was 1 piece of tuna each (thin, lightly oiled, salted and fenneled-so good), 2 croquettes each (small size, like half a golf ball), 2 Gambas (on toast similar to the size of melba toast) and we split the small bowl of lobster mac & cheese. All of this was rich, and good, but we didn't overindulge. I felt great and ready to take on the town. I was also extremely drunk--that is not good for your waistline, but hey, you only see Gaga once, right?

We taxi'ed our way to MSG and the show was awesome. I won't go into too much detail but lets just say we definitely danced, screamed, and sweat off any dinner calories we had. The show was all you'd want it to be: loud, glittery, leathery, sweaty, whiskey smelling, giant fish like monster-y, and fabulous. Oh, so fabulous.

I am home now, recovering, in bed doing what I love: blogging and drinking a gallon of water. I toast this water to you, Lindsay and to you, Gaga. Thank you for a great time.

Tomorrow I start my new work out routine: it will involve more running and more arm strength training. Biceps, triceps, etc. I wanna get toned arms, Michele Obama.....'s arms.... inspired me. I will let you all know the outcome of that. And will post an update blog very soon, probably this week.

Until then, happy eating, living, and for God's sake, stay cool--it's so damn hot.

Taking time to heal-something I can not do.

Ahh, the wisdom teeth. The slightly over enthusiastic, pains in the neck, stubborn, distant cousins of your other teeth. They seem harmless for up to 15-24 years, and then one day you wake up, your cheek is swollen, your gums are throbbing, and even mustering up the word, "ow" is enough to send you through the roof. I, ladies and gentlemen, have an infected and impacted wisdom tooth.

My day so far:
Woke up, complained
Called the dentist, complained
Went to the dentist, took one look at me and said: "that tooth has to come out".
Took an x-ray, was told to take all of my jewelry off.
Forgot to take out my nose ring.
Can see my nose ring in x-ray (looks pretty awesome if anyone needs an Album cover--let your girl know).
Got a perscription for antibiotics.
Called oral surgeon, he can't see me until July 22nd
and can not operate on me until August 20th.

Well, let me tell you. If the antibiotics and pain meds. don't help, I might just have to yank this thing out mah'self. I was also told to relax, which brings me to the point of this blog: what can you do to remain active, relax, and heal? I'm a girl who can not sit still for a second when its before 11 at night. I have to go, go, go, and since I couldn't get my workout in this morning (and I already feel flabby, which is my problem not yours), I had to find a way to keep myself; A. occupied, B. productive, C. exercised, and D. relaxed.

So what did I do? I first came home and painted my nails while watching Hulu episodes of The View (judge if you will, but those ladies slay me. Mainly Whoopi). So I took care of the occupied part, and my nails are now a beautiful color of "Summer Peach", thanks American Apparel (even though I shouldn't support you).

Then I decided to clean out the trunk of my car, and in order to add a bit of exercise in there I parked my car across the street and down a few houses so when I had to bring my stuff (and it was A LOT OF stuff, I'm talking I should be on the show "Hoarders"), I could get some exercise walking to my house. I made about 5 trips from car to house, then up the stairs, it was super hot out today so I got some slight sweat. It felt real good.

And now to relax I just made myself some chocolate milk, laying in bed blogging and doing some Ebay shopping. Going to make some sort of beer-based meal tonight with Andrew, I will be sure to blog the recipe. Tomorrow I head back to work. Hopefully the facial swelling will go down, and hopefully I allow myself to get enough sleep tonight.

The life of a busy bee, is the life for me.

If you don't know, now ya know...

This week I received an unsettling e-mail. Though, I have my suspicions on who wrote it, (leave me the fuck alone, seriously). However, it was interesting enough and I am more than happy to address it and set the record straight. The e-mail:
I will not post the person's e-mail address. Don't need harassment of them or me.

"Katie

Your blog is shallow as fuck. Why the hell do you even bother? Giving people weight loss advice when clearly you have quite a long way to go? Seroiusly. Go away, your blog is fucking retarded, just like you. And have fun with your two a days, hope you pass out in the process."

That was the e-mail, clearly riddled with spelling mistakes, cuss words, and the like. A real genius wrote that. But lets address the REAL issues at hand:

The author of the e-mail stated that this blog is a shallow one. And, as I've said before in blog posts of the past. That is not my intention. But unfortunately anytime a woman talks about her want to lose weight, or better herself, it's automatically shallow. What? I'm not allowed to be a strong, smart, feminist woman and care about my looks? Care about what goes into my body? To that I say: haters to the far left.

I do not believe there is anything shallow about wanting to help myself and others on a more personal/age appropriate level when it comes to weight loss and having a positive self image. This blog is not for everyone, trust me, if you are perfectly happy with yourself and you "hate" food blogs, "hate" weight loss, and "hate" happiness--then please--ex out of this now. No one asked you to be here, ya feel me?

One of my favorite professors of all time, she taught my "Women in Literature" class, once said something that helps me defend my stance here. "A woman should strive to be just as strong, or stronger, than her male counterpart". I believe she meant both mentally, and physically.

Moving on to the next point of interest: "why are you giving weight loss advice when you yourself have a long way to go?" This is true. I do have a long way to go. I am nowhere near the weight I want to be, but let me tell you, I am also nowhere near the weight I once was. This is a weightloss journey for me, and along the way I hope I can give people some feedback, recipes, anecdotes, and serious tales.

I wrote this blog to empower myself. I wrote this blog my sisters, for my best friends, for my acquaintances, for my female friends, for my male friends, for my grandmother, and for my mother. This is a safe place for me to write about myself. Of course I subject myself to ridicule if people do not like my style of writing, my body type, my face, whatever it may be. But again, I didn't do this for those people.

And, "anonymous" e-mailer, as far as me "passing out" I am in the best fucking shape of my life. I could outrun a goddamn deer, out wrestle a fucking alligator and out love a dove. Believe me, when it comes to physical and mental strength- Arnold Schwarzenegger circa 1990 don't got shit on me. Best believe.

To my loyal readers/friends/family, I apologize for my language but I do not apologize for this blog. This is all for you. And, as always, haters--you know where to go.

xoxox

The aftermath of the two-a-days. & update blog!

I am so tired. I can't remember the last time I have been this tired. But, I will tell you one thing: I lost 4 pounds in 1 week. YES. I DID. Two-a-days work, my friends, but this type of exercise is not for the weak of : heart, mind, body or soul. You gotta be strong, and you have to be willing to work, bitch. I used my calorie journal and I turned it into a calorie/work out journal, this is what it contains as far as the two-a-days:

What I did this week:

Monday, woke up at 7AM, went to the gym. Ran 3 miles.  Ran from my house to Dans house at 9:45PM.

Total run: about 5.5 miles.

Tuesday, couldn't wake up. Went to gym at 3PM, ran 4 miles. Tuesday night, ran around the oval.

Total run: about 6 miles.

Wednesday, woke up early, and wen to the gym. Could only run 2 miles. Could only walk 1 mile at night.

Total work out: 2 miles running, 1 mile walking, lots of being tired.

Thursday, couldn't wake up early. Went to the gym at 4, ran 3 miles. Went to yoga at 6:30-8.  Was a sweat-fest.

Total run: 3 miles, 1. 5 hours of yoga. 

Friday, went to the gym in the morning. Ran 5 miles. Went camping at night, could not fulfill the 2 a day work out.

Total run: 5 miles.

Saturday, still camping, had smores the night before. Everyone went hiking, ran approx. 8 miles.

Total run: 8 miles.

Sunday, left the campsite, bittersweet. Showered, RELAXED, slept, blogged.

Total work out: 0 hours, 0 miles.

In the words of the Wu-Tang Clan, "Two-a-days, ain't nothin' to fuck with."

Tomorrow I'm still going to continue with my two-a-days. But I'm not going to feel guilty if I can't get it done. Your girl is exhausted. But I am ready, willing, and prepared to push my body to be all it can be. I'm in charge damnit! Not the tiredness, or the stress. 

Wish me luck, more updates to come, and I'll be 21 in like, 2 weeks, WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!!!!!

2 a days.

So, since I've recently been hitting a plateau in my weight loss journey, I decided to start doing-- TWO A DAYS. Working out both in the morning, and in the evening. And, since summer is here, and I don't have school work to worry about I think I can do this challenge with EASE. I won't work out 2 times Saturday, just once at night, and Sunday's will be my day off (a girls gotta rest).

The plan is: working out Mon-Fri (my work days) at the gym from 7 am - 8 am and then either going for a 3 mile run at night, do yoga, or swim. At the gym I'll probably run on the elliptical, do some weight training (these arms are getting solid, my friends), and sit in the sauna for a bit. I'm really excited for this, I'm going to start on my favorite day to start things--Monday!! As for this week, working out was slacking--but it was the week of PMS. But, no excuses! I'm going to get back on the horse. Today I'm going for a nice long run, it's really gorgeous out--I hope you're all out there enjoying it in some way.

I'll update next Friday and let you know how the two-a-days went. I'm nervous! And excited! I've only done a two-a-day once in my life and that was this past week--it was hard, let me tell you. But my body was built to handle hard things--and I can do it. 

I had a delicious banana today, and a subway sandwich (why am I so addicted? they must put something in that bread). Tonight, is sushi night for me--california roll--here I come. 

Also: new favorite work out music--T.Rex. It also turns me on a bit, no big deal.

Sun-Dried.

Sun-dried is something I would like to be. Where'd you go, old friend? Luckily, I don't need the sun to be shining on me to enjoy some other sun-dried treats: sun-dried tomato's to be exact. For Mother's day we went to Il Vicolo in town, it was really busy, loud, and the service was slow. However, the laughter at my families table, and the delicious food was more than enough to ignore all the shiteous stuff that was going on. 

I ordered the Penne Milano. The name  and the ingredients were simple, and it came with a beet salad--how could I say no? First the beet salad arrived, nothing special, some bits of Gorgonzola cheese stood out, and so did the generous amount of red onion-my breath was kickin. 

Then the Penne Milano arrived. A heaping portion of whole wheat penne (that I had to request, and was charged an extra 2 dollars for--really, Il Vicolo? You gonna play me like that?) Another generous helping of sundried tomatos, and bits of cubed mozzarella and basil leaves scattered about, and way, way, way too much olive oil (yes, there is such a thing). So I decided to break down this meal for you--Katie minus Katie style. 

Ingredients:

3 cups whole wheat pasta (serves 5 people)

2 garlic cloves (minced)

1 tablespoon olive oil

A pinch of salt

1 regular sized  package of sun-dried tomato's (approx. 20 tomato slices)

5 basil leaves

1/2 mozzarella ball (mozzarella should say part-skim for this recipe) (cut the half in half then cube)

Cubes should look about this size.

Start boiling your pasta water, add a pinch of salt.

When the pot is boiling add your pasta.

While the pasta begins to cook, grab a sauté pan and add your tablespoon of olive oil,

your minced garlic cloves, and your sun-dried tomato's. Do this on a LOW HEAT. 

Move the mixture around often and so the tomatoes are covered in the oil (I know it's not a lot of oil but trust me, you don't need much and it does the trick).

Cook the pasta for 5 minutes, then using a slotted spoon, scoop the pasta into the sauté pan.

Letting it finish its cooking process with all the other juices of the meal.

Turn the heat off, letting the residual heat of the pan do its job, add the mozzarella cubes and the basil slices.

Serve with a beet, or a regular salad. This dish is also delicious as a cold pasta dish--you can take it to work! 

Or whatever!

This kind of food is what I consider soul food. And let me tell you-this summer I am on a soul everything. Soul cleansing, soul journey, you name it. I want to rid my life of everything and everyone  that weighs me down. Just like in my Spring Cleaning blog post--this is the time to get it done. Right when a new season is beginning. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am worth the time and effort to be loved, taken care of, and respected. That includes treating MYSELF that way.

More on this emotional and soulful journey to self fulfillment, and self love, coming up in the next few blogs. But, for now, enjoy this recipe--it's a delicious, healthy, and very low-cal one. Approx. 300 calories per serving--I kid you not.

Penne Milano--there's so many ways to love ya.

And so it grows...

A month ago I decided it was time for a change. So I cut my (very long, very beautiful, very luscious) hair. 7 inches, to be precise. I think that was too much of a shock to my system. I fell into a very weird, Samson-like depression. I was happy to donate it-of course-but I missed running my fingers through it, twirling it around my chin and looking like Abraham Lincoln. Oh, hair. How fun you were. So then, after the cut, as if I wasn't traumatized enough, I decided to go redder and darker in color. I messed that up, and had to have my mommy fix it (don't they just fix everything?) 

The first picture is where my hair was a month ago, the second (very Myspace-looking picture) is where my hair is today. 2.5 inches longer. And, this is the first time in 3 weeks that I've worn my hair down for the WHOLE day. I ain't scared! 

I know what you're thinking: wow, Katie. What a shallow, pointless blog-post. Wrong! The point of this is not about my superficial obsession with my own hair. But its about moving past things in life. Whether it be a weight loss challenge, a poor grade in school, an extreme hair cut, a divorce, a break up, a loss of a loved one--these are all things we can get through. Just look at yourself baby, we were built for this! We were built to bounce back from difficult things. (Not that my hair cut was that difficult, ya'll hear what I'm saying right?)

So, whatever you are going through right now. Be it big, or small, you will get through it. And when your day seems like it will never end, or if it ends on a bad note- here's my remedy: watch a couple episodes of Arrested Development, have a big bowl of fruit loops with soy milk, and a sliced banana, lay in your bed, and work it out.

This is life. This is your life. Be proud of yourself, I'm proud of you!

And so it goes...

And so it grows...

Spring cleaning: home, heart, & diet.

I took the day off of work today, due to a really bad stomach ache that has kept me in a pretty sour mood this whole weekend. But, instead of laying around and allowing myself to completely heal, I obviously decided to do my big Spring Cleaning. It helps me keep my mind off of my sickness (that definitely could have been cheese-induced), and get me on the road to a very productive and happy week.

The first step to a true Spring Cleaning, in my mind, is to treat it like a complete life cleanse. Winter is officially gone, (though this chilly weather would beg to differ), summer is right around the corner, as is the end of the semester. Starting with your bedroom, assuming of course that your mother or father does the rest of the house cleaning-as mine do. I only focus on my room and my bathroom.

I did 5 loads of laundry today. Sorted through the clothes, some are much too big now! Yes! And some are perfect to give to my younger sisters. The rest: the ones that are too big, etc...I separate into a few paper Shop Rite bags and get them ready to be donated. I choose to donate my clothes to DASI. The VFW in Livingston, as well as Good Will and the Salvation Army are also great choices. Do something good! Especially with something as simple as clothes that do not fit anymore. Once my laundry is done it's a lot easier for me to evaluate what needs to be done next, my room is always constantly covered with dirty clothes. I vacuumed, cleaned off my desk and dresser, and cleaned my windows and mirrors. All while leaving the windows OPEN, I don't necessarily follow Fung Shui to a T, but I do believe that you can't get proper energy flow with your windows closed! It's okay that it gets a bit chilly-you'll work up a bit of a sweat by cleaning!

My favorite cleaning products are Seventh Generation products. I'm sure you've seen the commercials. They're all natural and don't give your room/bathroom that gross cleaning-product smell. My room smells like lavender. Yes.

Once my room was cleaned, I decided to move on to Spring Cleaning my heart, so to speak. Now this first step may sound RIDICULOUS and silly, but I DE FRIENDED over 150 people from my facebook. Yes! And I still have more to go. I don't know these freaks! They don't know me! Or if they did it was in HIGH SCHOOL sorry creepers, but you ain't gettin any information out of me! You don't need these strangers in your life. Beware: most of them will try to re-friend you, IGNORE THEM. Some of them will send you messages like: "Thanks for de friending me" Just respond with this: "you're welcome!" END of that situation.

Also, besides facebook friends, start thinking about the friends you see often. Or the friends you hardly see. Are all of them good to you? Do they all love, and respect you? Pay attention to the things you care about? If you answered "no" to any of these questions: those people are not your friends. It sucks, but it's high time you (me) start realizing who's really out there rooting for you. And the people who aren't? Screw 'em. I've realized a lot recently, and I'd much rather only have a handful of good friends than a lot of really, really, shitty friends. Are you with me? Yeah, you are.

Now, the most important part of Spring Cleaning-for this girl and for this blog at least: DIET! Again, people, when I use the word "diet" don't fear me! The word just means what you eat and how you eat-this blog is not about restricting-you know that! I cleaned out my pantry/refrigerator today. This will be much easier, mind you, when you live on your own. I had to keep some unhealthy things because of my sisters/mom/dad. But everyone here has been making a conscience effort to eat well, and live well. So proud.

First: I bought a whole bunch of fruits and vegetables. We all know they make great snacks, meals, and smoothies! Got some good yogurts, cereals, oatmeal, cheeses, whole grains, salmon, flounder, shrimp, and some delicious yellow rice and beans. Gonna have some good eatin for the next couple of weeks.

This is all just to help you get started on a healthy, happy routine. Trust me, I know it's hard. I feel so lazy, this whole weekend the most working out I did was walking. But today is a new day. And as a good friend told me today "you can't keep putting your happiness in the future". And she's right. I am happy with the person I am TODAY, and hopefully the same will be for tomorrow, the next day, and the next.

Tonight, I look forward to: a good meal, 8 full hours of sleep, and seeing the people I love.

Thank you to all of my loyal readers, you are my true friends. And, I am yours.

Today's the day!

Today is result day! And its a Friday! Two great things rolled into one. Though, I do have to say my results aren't super exciting, or super drastic. This was a difficult month, it really was a ROLLER-COASTER of EMOTION. Therefor, it was a roller-coaster of my weight as well. Lost 5 pounds went up 1 pound, lost 6 pounds, went up 2 pounds. Total weight loss as of today? 5.5 pounds. Not FABULOUS, but I notice now that my body is getting smaller it is much more difficult to lose the pounds! But I'm okay with that, "slow and steady wins the race", yes? My mom said that to me last night, I was having an off night and later confided in some Twizzlers.

Again, Photobooth on Macbooks are not the most flattering, but I ain't ashamed. I had to do some cropping though because of some revealing breast shots. Ya'll ain't ready for that. I'm starting to see a lot of definition in my core, I think I should thank Joey Sbarro and Yoga for that. Again, 5.5 pounds didn't really jolt my body into looking dramatically different, but I do see some changes, and, as always, I do feel better about myself. 

The lower half of my body (my heaviest part) is my new focus. Lots more cardio, and leg work outs. It's almost summer, time to get it done! 

I'm rushing this blog today because I just got out of the shower and have to leave for work in, oh, 20 minutes.

Enjoy this day, enjoy this weekend, will blog again Monday.

XXX

Poached Eggs.

This post it to pay my respects to poached eggs. I've never poached one before this week, and now I'm a poaching-fiend. I tell all about my eggs to anyone who will listen, and now I'm telling about my poached egg ventures to you!

First poached egg: Saturday 4/17, for breakfast. I had to google "how to poach the perfect egg", even though I've seen my grandma poach an egg, and I've seen it on "Cook Yourself Thin", I needed my computer next to me for moral support.

First, boil water, add a bit of salt. When the water reaches a boil add a little bit of white vinegar (this is not necessary but I think it's part of the reason my eggs came out so good). After you add the vinegar, turn the heat down to medium, and start stirring the pot with big fast stirs--to help cool down the water and also to add a whirpool effect. Crack your egg gently and let it drop into the center of the whirpool. Cook for 2 minutes, some recipes I've read say cook 3, or cook 1. I found 2 to be perfect.

On top of half a whole wheat english muffin I placed the egg, sprinkled some salt and that was that. Not the most exciting way to enjoy a poached egg, but so delicious.

Second poached egg, today 4/18, lunch time. I poached the egg, while the egg was cooking I toasted 1/2 a 90 calorie roll (Deli rolls-Pepperidge Farm--amazing), on top of that was some cheese-melting away. I sliced up a tomato and took 2 slices avocado and added some oregano. Placed those veggies (or fruits? who the fuck knows), on top of my cheesy bread-half, and on top of that my poached egg. Sprinkled a bit more oregano and some sea salt--HOLLA.

These past two days have been delicious, full of protein, and delightful. But I think I'll take an egg break--at least until Tuesday. Making some fresh pasta and sauce tonight with Andrew. In the above picture he had just finished doing a whole lot of heroin--we kid. We were working out!

Tomorrow is the beginning of my work/school week. Gym at 7AM, work til 3PM, and I ain't mad at it. I'm looking forward to a filled day and then to cleaning out/off my car in the afternoon. Hopefully the sun will be shining--unlike today. It was chilly! But I see the sun now.

Hope you all had a good weekend, I won't post again until the 23rd for my body update blog! Get excited, I think it'll be a good one.

Desire, desire, desire.

Life is full of likes, and dislikes. And, like most people I know, my dislikes outnumber the things I love: I don't like long walks, I don't particularly like hot days, don't like fuzzy things, or rainbows--can't see 'em, don't like talking on the phone, don't like writing letters, don't like car rides or airplanes, do not like SLOTHS (the animal and sloth-like people).

But this blog is all about celebrating the things we love, our bodies and ourselves being number one. And the  few things that I do love, are wonderful and fabulous; good food, good friends, a good poem,  a new outfit, a great work out, and booze. 

Let's begin with good food. This can range from comfort food (macaroni and cheese) to a delicious warm beet and asparagus salad that I made this week.  

Recipe as follows:

What you will need:

1 can pickled beets 

4 asparagus stalks

3 mini red potato's

2 tsp's olive oil

1 tsp salt (sea salt preferably)

2 tbs. oregano

Preheat your over to 350

Cut your asparagus stalks into bite size pieces

Halve and boil the potatoes first (not until done, but until slightly tender)

arrange potatoes and asparagus on a baking sheet (feel free to use parchment paper)

drizzle the olive oil onto the vegetables

sprinkle the salk and the oregano

I didn't forget about those beets!! Let them sit out and get to room temperature while the other veggies bake for about 10-12 minutes. When finished arrange vegetables on a dish, slice your beets to whatever shape you like (bite size), and ENJOY, it is DELICIOUS I can't tell you about the combination of asparagus and beets--what it does to the pallet! Salt, spice, a bit of bitterness! Heaven, hello! 

Warning: Urine will smell quite foul after this meal. Do not be alarmed!

Good friends, where would I be without them? Probably sitting alone blogging in my room...! My friends are fabulous wonderful people but unfortunately with the exception of like, 4, all of them go to school outside of New Jersey. To this I say: where the heck is summer? I just want to go to the art park, sit in a basement and have some treats with all of you (you know who you are). I feel such support from my family and friends in all of my weight loss endeavors. I'm glad I have shoulders to cry on, people to eat Veggie Heaven with, and a wonderful boyfriend to tell me I look thin (even when I'm bloated). ENOUGH sappiness.

And when my friends can't provide me with the comfort I need, where do I turn? Urban Outfitters. Oh, how you lift me up, and how you bring me down. There's really nothing a cute pair of boots can't solve, a sexy skirt can't heal, or a fun crop top can't comfort. Go shopping! If you have the means, that is. You'll feel better, trust me. I'm sure my psych professors would have a lot to scold me about, but I'm telling you--retail therapy--it works wonders.

Let's talk about endorphins. Can I get a what, what? Endorphins occur in our body based on a number of stimulants, one of them is chocolate, another (healthier) alternative to chocolate is: exercise! Even if I'm having the most sluggish day, I force myself to do something physical: yoga, running, gym work out, circuit training, even crunches on my bedroom floor! Anything physical will put you in a better mood, energize you, and help you out with the rest of your day. I find working out in the morning to be the best endorphin stimulant for me. Hello day full of energy! 

And last, but certainly not least, the two main loves of my life: red wine, and poetry. People who know me well, know how to get to my heart: give me a bottle of cheap red wine, (no glass needed) and either a Federico Garcia Lorca, Stanley Kunitz, or Charles Bukowski book of poetry--and I'm all set. I do not condone constant drinking--no beer guts up in here!--but a drink every once in a while-is good for saving the soul. And Lord, does my soul need some saving.

In conclusion, to a very long, and very revealing blog:

take care of yourself. When things are shitty, write down things you love. And do them!

Call up a friend, call me up: we'll go shopping, and I'll cook you a good meal.

But never, ever, even on those shitty days, lose sight of why you're doing what you're doing. I try to never lose sight of my weight goals, and my life goals, even if they escape me for a bit, you gotta bring it all back together. Be good to your mind, body, soul.

"What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire."-Stanley Kunitz

Yes, Stanley, yes.

Breakfast treats.

You know your mama's got the hook up. Here we have what I had for breakfast today, a toasted english muffin, one tablespoon of peanut butter, and 1/2 a banana sliced. (Caloric total of 275) I, of course, did not take this picture. If I took a picture of my english muffin you would not want to eat it. 

Though, it is one of the messiest treats, peanut butter and I have had a long term love affair. From when I was 5 years old and I would put PB on a spoon and lick it like a lollipop, to when I was 12 and I watched the movie, Parent Trap (with Lindsay Lohan x 2) and I learned how to dip Oreo's in PB, and then again when I was depressed in Alfred University, and would eat sleeves of Oreo's and tub, after tub, of PB. Its been a long and painful journey for the two of us, but through it all, PB has taught me something: everything is good for you in moderation.

A serving size of peanut butter is 2 tbsp, about the size of a golf ball. But it packs about 190 calories, and about 8 grams of fat per serving! That's not for this girl. But PB also has tons of benefits--protein (for those of us who don't get our protein from Animals, this is very important), and the fat, though plentiful, is the "good" kind of fat. The kind we need for our bodies and brains to work! (Work it). 

Another breakfast treat involving a PB is an old classic: Apples with peanut butter. What I like to do is toast 1 slice of whole wheat bread, spread 1 tbsp (1/2 serving) of PB drizzle about 1/2 tablespoon of Honey, and slice up an apple and place it on top. DELICIOUS! NUTRITIOUS! What else could you want?

This has been a great PB week, and a great week overall! A woman I work with asked me if I've lost some more weight, and I have! About 3 pounds so far this month! My work out activities this week have been fabulous, the weather has helped me so much. Monday I ran 5 miles outside, Tuesday I did a nice long Yoga session with my great friend Joey Sbarro, Wednesday I took a 2 hour walk, Thursday I was too sore to function, and today I'm hittin that gym hard and going for a swim!

Have you all been enjoying this weather? I hope it helps you get back on your feet after this winter slump. Tonight I will be enjoying myself in the city making pizza with good friends and having a good time. Isn't life grand?

By the way, has anyone seen this video? The girl is uglier then sin, the video is horrendous, but the song is addicting.

(Remember the girl band 3Lw? And the Cheetah Girls?  She was in both of those bands..glad to see her career has blossomed).

It ain't trickin if ya got it.

Update time! I meant to update on the 23rd but I have been one busy lady. Between school, work, and getting it done--hardly leaves me any time to blog! But I'm making it this weeks resolution to blog more often and give you all more delicious food for your tummy--and a little food for thought. (How do ya like that?).

So in the first picture I am making a muscle--which you can not tell. But...in the second picture i am revealing my stomach. A stomach that still has plenty of work to be done, but is....4.5 pounds minus itself!! So in March I've lost 4.5 pounds and I feel great. I've been wearing jeans I haven't worn in a good, long, while. I forgot how sexy jeans can make ya feel. Next month I'm going to have Andrew take my update pictures for me because my photobooth on my Mac blows. But you get the gist of the sitch (do you?).

Taking this photo of myself, the first few times I sucked in my stomach and made like, really painful faces at trying to keep it all in. This photo, I just breathed, smiled (cropped my face out--I'm lookin a HOT mess right now) and uploaded it. This blog isn't about impressing anyone, I want to be honest with my readers! I want to be honest with myself! What kind of self empowerment would I be showing if I sucked in my stomach for all these pictures? None.

Go take a picture of yourself with your shirt up, off, on, whatever! But do it today, at a time that you feel your most beautiful. Big tummies, little tummies. Innie bellybuttons, outtie bellybuttons, they are all wonderful. I would wife them all. And you'll have that picture for yourself, to either help mark your weight loss journey as I am, or just to remind yourself of how beautiful your body is. Do you love it? Cause I sure do.

And if the haters hate...girl, let them hate!

Katie minus 4.5 lbs. of Katie.

Peanut Butter, Cause I'm not Butter

In fact I snap back like a rubber-band.

For those who don't know those were some very inspiring Method Man lyrics from the song: Method Man.

(I hope that only Method Man fans read this blog--if not--get the hell out of here). 

Anyway, last blog I promised you all a secret on weight loss, and here it is: CHEW YOUR FOOD!! I know most of you are thinking, "What the HELL Katie?? Worst advice ever", everyone chews their food!"

FALSE, BEST advice ever. Advice given to me, and advice I have taken to heart and have been practicing all week (yes, chewing takes practice). 

Now, some people say, "chew your food 20 times before swallowing". Now, for most of us this is impossible. I don't want to chew on my food until it because a gooey mess! Just chew an eat as slowly as possible, ENJOY every bite, and you will feel fuller faster and longer. This tip will not help everyone a lot of people do eat slowly and do chew their food properly. I was not one of those people. I like to inhale my food. Time to shut it down! Chew that food. It's delicious and it deserves your attention.

Now for something REALLY delicious:

Egg White Omelet 

Featuring, Broccoli, Fontina cheese, & tomato.

(can I get a what, what?)

Start with 3 egg whites, beat thoroughly (egg whites don't need much of a beating).

Grab some fresh broccoli, wash, and dry. Chop about 2 big pieces of broccoli into bite size chunks. (stem & all please).

Fontina cheese (mmm!) I bought mine already grated in the super market--you need about 1/2 an ounce.

Cherry tomatoes, I used 5, slice them in half (feel free to take out the seeds and the wetness, I personally like a wet omelet).

In a small bowl combine all ingredients (do not beat just gently combine--don't break those tomatoes!)

Heat a small frying pan (medium-low heat) spray a bit of PAM, and a bit of salt to your delicious mixture and pour onto pan.

Will cook in about 2 - 3 minutes, ingest, enjoy.

The reason I quoted Method Man is because I ate peanut butter for lunch all last week at work, that is going to change this week- I'm thinking tuna one day, and a tomato mozzarella situation another. Soup too? Who knows, I feel like cutting lose from my paper bag lunch and spicing it up a bit.

The weather brought me down this weekend, but I just have to try and snap out of it (like a rubber band, ya heard?) 

Going to the gym tomorrow morning, work til 3, and then I'm going to enjoy my Spring Break the best I can.

Happy Week to All! Will post again next Monday. Make this recipe, tell me what you think!!

All my love.  I'm rooting for you.

I've got a rocket, you're going on it.

Today I started my new job!! It was a wonderful day, I was nervous at first but after about half an hour I realized that this is the place I want to be, for now at least. I get my own desk that I can decorate as I wish (hello lots of mugs and buddha's) hope they're cool with that (they will be). 

I like having a job that runs through lunch time, it gives me motivation to pack something healthy and eat a healthy lunch. Today was filled with peanut butter, whole grains, veggie burger, and delicious fruits. Going for a run soon, the weather is just so beautiful.

The point of this post is a simple one: put the past behind you. Past fails, past jobs, past weight gain, past--anything! It doesn't matter any more, you are above and beyond it. As I mentioned in my last post I started writing a food journal, and I also started adding in it daily how I felt about my body, today I wrote: Wonderful.

I hope you are all feeling wonderful today, let the sun hit your face, and smile. 

Looking for a song to lift those spirits? Try,  Rocket-Goldfrapp.

Next post will be more recipes and a secret tip I learned about weight loss--get ready for it!!

As always: love yourself and each other.

You better work, bitch.

Ah, the lovely words of RuPaul. I remember being 10, or 11 years old, in Stephanie Tabone's basement "workin it" to that song. And that's what today's blog is all about: workin it, bitch! Yesterday I went to Marshall's, a store that is my complete guilty pleasure. Betsey Johnson for only 50 bucks?? Yes, please!! And I tried on some ridiculous clothes that I never would wear out in public, and I stood in front of those ever unforgiving "changing room mirrors" and I did NOT hate what I saw. 

I did not sashay or shante, but I did smile at myself and then quickly change. I picked out new pants and new blouses for my new job that starts on Monday! Business casual! I can finally get out of retail-- I don't think I've ever been so happy to wear slacks. And to start off my new and improved life (so far), I bought myself a food journal--the really nice kind, big enough that I can write a lot in it but small enough that it fits in my purse nicely. 

What I wrote in it so far today, and what I plan on eating for the rest of the day (without being too calculated, but I'm a woman of habit). 

Woke up at 8:30 with a neck-ache. (waahh).

Breakfast at 9:00- Granola bar, greek yogurt-no fat, an apple, & a cup of tea.

Lunch at 12:30- Veggie burger with a slice of 60 calorie cheese, no bun, side of steamed and spicy vegetables.

Dinner (not sure what time yet-hopefully before 7) Veggie heaven, something tofu-y and delicious.

Something I find helpful is writing down when I wake up, when I eat, and how much I eat. It helps put things into consideration and most of the time you'll find you should eat more!! And get to eat more!

Now for dessert, this delicious recipe from Self.Com that I altered just a bit.

Chocolate Torte

INGREDIENTS

• Vegetable oil cooking spray
• 1/3 cup cocoa powder, plus 1 tsp for dusting
• 1 cup prunes, pitted and chopped
• 1/2 cup hot coffee
• 1/3 cup whole-wheat flour
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup light-brown sugar
• 1/4 cup applesauce
• 1 egg white
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon unflavored gelatin
• 1/2 cup nonfat sour cream
• 1/4 cup confectioners' sugar

Instructions:

Heat oven to 350˚. Coat a 9" square cake pan with cooking spray--or just use parchment paper--it's easier. Dust with 1 tsp cocoa. Combine prunes and coffee in a bowl. Set aside to cool. Combine remaining cocoa, flours, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large resealable plastic bag; and shake!! The shaking part is like, ridiculously fun. Add sugar, apple-sauce, egg white and 1 tsp of the vanilla to coffee-prune mixture. Empty bag into bowl; mix. Pour into prepared pan.  20 to 25 minutes should be enough, but do the toothpick test in case. Cool completely before removing and slicing. 

Topping:

Mix 1 tbsp water, remaining 1 tsp vanilla and gelatin in a small pan. Set aside until gelatin becomes clear, 10 to 15 minutes. Heat over low heat until gelatin melts. Mix gelatin, sour cream and confectioners' sugar in a bowl. Refrigerate until topping is firm, 10 to 15 minutes. Beat until smooth. Add a dollop to each slice. UMM DELICIOUS.

Enjoy this, enjoy today, enjoy this weekend. E-mail me if you made this recipe!! I would love to hear how it came out. 

Peace, Love, Well Being.