Like a bird on the wire.

I've tried in my own way, to be free.


WARNING this is a pretty depressing blog, not like my usual self-loving posts. But I think this will have a happy ending, we shall see:

So, friends, I have to admit that despite my verbal swagger, and my seemingly bubbly tone I am a fucking hot mess as of late. I cry all the time, I fall asleep while I'm trying to finish homework, I yell, I scream, I basically have temper tantrums. It's honestly, pathetic. But something that my mama and something that I guess, I've even taught myself is- we all have days like this, and we all even have months, years, or weeks like this. But, we have to find a way to seek the help that we need.

I started seeing a psychologist for free at William Paterson. It's a pretty sweet deal, what's better than free mental health? Nothing! But, again, NOTHING comes for free. I cry way more than I want to, and sometimes reveal things about myself that I don't like, or would like to forget. But, how can we have physical health, and financial wealth, without having mental health? We truly can't. I can't be of mind, body, and soul--without a stable mind.

A few things that are proven to help increase your mood: Yoga, chocolate, wine, running, friends, family, reading, napping, psychology, psychedelic drugs (though I don't recommend that), tea, jumping rope, swimming, & exercise of any kind.

I have to increase my endorphins, I know that that might be a huge reason I've been so down--I haven't been hitting up the gym as I normally do.

The point of this post is for me to vent, but to also let you know that-

all those times you've been sad, I've been sad too.

All those times you've been lonely, I've been lonely too.

I love you all, let us all start learning how to love ourselves again.

Let us begin the week of RADICAL SELF LOVE. I'll see you there.

Update blog, a bit early.

Not to prematurely shoot my load, but, I weighed myself this morning and I'm feelin pretty good about it, especially since I've been eating WAY over my limits this past week. -2.5 pounds.

It ain't trickin if yah got it.

The sun drips down like honey.

Honey! Lets talk about the health benefits of honey & my new obsession with: eating it, calling people it, using it on my face, etc... Let me break it down to ya:

There are 3 key benefits that honey can provide you. The first one being: Honey is natures 'energy booster' what this means is honey has a natural way of boosting your metabolism, which then increases your energy. Honey is full of (good) carbohydrates and fruit sugar, which, in moderation, is wonderful for you! Take a spoonful of honey before your workout (like I do) and it will help you boost your workout maybe an extra few steps or even an extra mile.

The second, and most impressive, health benefit is it's "immunity system builder" properties. Honey’s antioxidant and anti-bacterial properties can help improve your digestive system and help you stay healthy enough to fight off disease. It was even written in many articles that Honey, though it can't cure cancer, can be used as a preventative. Honey possesses carcinogen-preventing and anti-tumour properties. Those smart bees.

The third, and probably most useful to my readers, is that honey can be used as a....HANGOVER REMEDY! See, Mama always takes care of you. When you have a headache or another ailment from drinking too much the night before, combat that shit with HONEY! Honey is gentle enough on the stomach and it contains a mix of natural sugars (fructose) which is known to speed up the oxidation of alcohol by the liver, acting as a 'sobering' agent. *Fun fact about bee's: Bee's are drawn to the smell of alcohol and actually get drunk if they have a taste. Outside of the bee hive there are "bouncer bee's" which do exactly that, when they see that some bee's are coming back to the hive drunk, they kick them out and sometimes kill them. Oh, bee's!!
(Let's see who brings in more honey, BZZ)

And a recipe for perfect skin that my mother taught me is:
2 TBSP Honey
1 Mashed Banana
2 TSP salt
Combine in a bowl and rub on your face. The salt acts as an exfoliant, where the honey and the banana act as cooling/masking agents. Leave on for 5 minutes. Then proceed to wash, or lick, off of your face. (JK don't lick it). You'll feel silky smooth. NOT for people with acne! (For people with acne switch out the banana for TOMATO, the acid in tomato's is amazing for troubled skin).

I love honey, this week I'm going to try to use it as much as I can, but again, all in moderation. Honey is high in calories, but if used responsibly it is totally, 100% fine. Put it in your tea, use it instead of sugar while baking, put it in your greek yogurt, or just take a spoonful. Enjoy the benefits that this delicious treat has to offer you.

Update photo's. As promised.

"I love my bitches, I love my bitches, All my bitches we all ambitious."
-Trina

Obviously no drastic changes, also thats me showing off my "muscles" and "toughness" after a really intense work out.

On my way to grandma's for dinner, and even though it's raining, I'm running there instead of driving. Then yoga from 8-9 tonight.

MAMA

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Hi! It's been, 2 months, since I've updated. I have FAILED you all, and I am sorry. But this is still going to have to be short, since I am finishing up a paper & 2 other assignments, hence the reason I'm blogging at 5:00AM. I'm also talking to Tori. Duh.

My camera isn't working right now but I will be posting an update photo tomorrow, no worries! I just wanted to blog & get it out there that I am STILL on this journey with you, babies.

So, over the past 2 months my weight did not go up, but it hardly went down at first, but, 2 months later I do stand before you (or before my computer screen) at -4 pounds. It's not much, but I ain't hating it!

Running, yoga-ing, and walking. Not as much as I should be, but the beginning of a new job/ new semester is very tough. Especially when you try to include 90 minutes of exercise A DAY. DAMN!

Recipes & life updates to come this week! Is saying "stay tuned" too tacky?

Aw, fuck it.

STAY TUNED!

-mama

Take care of your body: it's the only place you have to live.

As most of you know I have an insane obsession with Buddha. Mainly with collecting small figurines or large Buddha heads, but I also enjoy the teachings of Buddha. One of the things that Buddhism teaches is to respect and control your body, mind, soul. Which, of course, is one of my goals in life: to master the love of my mind, body, and soul (mostly body, since I do already love my soul). "Tame and train your own mind", is what I want to focus on today. I want to incorporate that saying with my daily routine of working out and eating.

As far as eating goes: we are a nation of eating on the go, or "on the run". Everything we do is rushed, and it contributes to the fact that America is so obese. When you are eating a burrito the size of your head while driving you are not focusing on what is going into your body, not focusing on whether or not you're full. One of my teachers at Alfred University, who was a Buddhist, said the best way to eat your meal is at a table, alone, with a few friends, family members, what have you, and focus on what you are doing. Cut your food slowly, chew it slowly, and when holding your cup to drink, hold it with two hands. It lets your body focus and engulf itself at the task its given.

Working out, is a part of my daily life. All day every day is a work out for me. I make it that way. When I walk up the steps I do it with vigor and purpose, when I go out to my car, I jog to it. When I go to the market, I park far away even though I don't have to. Just to make my body function more. I suggest everyone try the same, that way, if at the end of the day you're too tired to go for a run, or too tired to go for a walk, you will have already probably burnt 800 calories just living your daily life more actively.

The best workout for body and soul, as we all know, is yoga. Yoga is one of the loves of my life. It's saved me from so much anger, so many arguments, etc... Yoga not only teaches you poses, or breath control, it also teaches your self control. When I feel myself getting worked up or stressed out (ask my family I know it annoys them) I say "NAMASTE" really loud and sort of fan myself with my hands, rapidly. Thats not a yoga practice, thats just a crazy Katie practice. But then I find a quiet place to just sit, take a deep calming breath, and relax.

There are a lot of great Yoga places in town, the YMCA offers classes, Exhale, Power Flow and there are other places in the area: Montclair, MIllburn, South Orange. But if money is an issue, and girlfriend don't I know how much of an issue it can be, you can download free yoga videos online, youtube has them as well as this site.

As much as my goal here is to lose weight, and love myself, it is also to be happy with where I am now. And yoga, as well as other calming practices help me feel that way. I know they can help you, too. You are strong, lovable, and capable.

Today I didn't work out, but I did some simple yoga poses and relaxed. I ate well, and I ate slowly. I'm going for a nice long walk with Tori tonight, and then going to Montclair with Andrew to do some more walking/coffee drinking.

This life is yours for the taking! Send your light out into the world, sun babies. Mama loves you. Loves you. Loves YOU.

Update Blog, featuring: my boobs!

I GAINED 1 pound this month friends, Sorry to have failed you, yet again. But don't worry... I ain't afraid of a challenge!!!

Gym in the morning, morning walks with Tori, kickboxing classes start next week, yoga on sundays. Don't worry babiez, mama's got this. Enjoy da boobs.

Also: did I mention...baby got back! I think I gained that pound in my bum...I (and the boyfriend) ain't hatin that.

Mama loves you.